Note: Tanking is the process of losing games intentionally to achieve higher draft picks. For the last few years, the New York Knicks have…
Posts published in April 2017
Horoscopes: Pick-Up Lines at a Baseball Game
Aries (Mar. 21–Apr. 19): I’ve been striking out all night but I think I’m about to make some solid connection with you; hey the name’s…
IHS Teacher Proves Riemann Hypothesis
In a sudden revelation, a serendipitous brainchild of fate, a disciplinary intersection of theory and application, what will henceforth be known as “the tossup that…
Instead of simply using the IHS Tattler to guard his partes privadas from the greasy chain of a moto, whatever that is, area English teacher…
Local Boy Qualifies for USAMO
On April 1, it was revealed that Casey Wetherbee ’17 had qualified for the United States of America Mathematical Olympiad (USAMO) to be held on…
On February 24, White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer left representatives from numerous news outlets hungering for flustered gum-chewing, stuttering, and half-hearted justifications for golfing…
Literary Editor Frantically Writes “Haiku of the Month” Hours Before Deadline
Expletives were heard echoing through the deserted hallways of E-building as Tattler Literary Editor Ema Cornbread ’17 realized that no one had submitted a haiku…
IHS Administrators Ban Hot Food in The Cafeteria
After outraged parents threatened to sue over their child burning their tongue in IHS’s cafeteria, the administration has taken swift action to protect students. Their…
It seems to me that in past years, the disarmingly impenitent architects of our district policy have been redolent of archaic tradition, squandering crucial affluence…
ICSD Admins Found Playing AdventureQuest (and Other Video Games) on Chromebooks
The beginning of last school year heralded the coming of the Chromebooks, whose rollout was anything but smooth. Controversy after controversy battered IHS as students…
IHS Student Resolves Messy Cultist Crisis
This March, IHS senior and Tattler Backpage Editor Abe Messing ’17, was sent to investigate the questionable ethics of Meshers Inc., a wire mesh factory…
Footsteps as Dr. Luvelle Brown walks down a IHS hallway, lost in thought as he flips through a folder. He is so engrossed that he…
Controversy Over Board of Education Executive Sessions
ICSD is a massive entity, serving over 6,000 students at a dozen schools. Unlike the executive branch of the federal government, however, the decisions that…
Ithaca Residents Gather at Congressional Town Hall
It wasn’t even 6:00 a.m. and the temperature was a bit under 15 degrees Fahrenheit, with the wind making it even worse. Hundreds of Ithaca…
Editorial: Political Dissent in School
Controversial topics will inevitably come up during class. Our natural inclination is often to shy away from these topics or to approach them from a…
The Tattler received this letter in response to our February editorial “On Teaching Good Writing” and a subsequent response deriding it. Both the give requisite context. The “Letter to the…
I.T. Phone Home
WikiLeaks has done it yet again. On Tuesday, March 3, WikiLeaks published a ground-breaking trove of classified CIA documents drawn from a sub-organization called the…
IHS Excels at the UNAR Model UN Conference
On March 10 and 11, IHS Model UN attended the United Nations Association of Rochester (UNAR) conference at St. John Fisher College. Model UN is…
Quite a Buzz at the Spelling Bee
The Ithaca Public Education Initiative (IPEI)’s 19th Annual Adult Spelling Bee was held on Sunday, March 5. The event featured 32 spelling teams who went…
The Best Shake
In the Simpsons episode “Stop or My Dog Will Shoot,” Chief Wiggum and Lou debate whether the Shamrock Shake is vanilla ice cream with green…
What Triggered Jacob This Month: “Just Doing Your Job”
Before diving into this month’s topic, I want to thank those who responded to my query in last month’s edition of WTJTM. I asked IHS…
United States and Russia: Democratic Witch Hunt or Trump Administration Conspiracy?
On The Rachel Maddow Show on March 10, Maddow connected some more dots between the U.S. and its relation with Russia. But the question remains:…
Can You Go a Day Without It?
You are at a party, and pretty much everyone is on their phones. Nobody is talking or interacting with each other, not even with the…
Exoplanets!
I found myself elated on February 24, when I found four separate articles on Reddit concerning the discovery of new exoplanets surrounding a (relatively) nearby…
Teacher Feature: Mike Yerky
“Raise your hand if you’re not here….” This paradoxical segway into class is perhaps an appropriate (and familiar) way to start the period with a…
From the Archives
There are about four people in this building who are aware of a very small, very pink room at the very end of E-hallway. This…
That Sounds Like a You Problem: How to Become a Successful Driver
Q: Hi Abby. I recently turned 16 and got my learner’s permit. I’m really excited about learning how to drive, but I’m nervous, too;…