I don’t know a thing about baseball. I never have, and I don’t care to. However, I definitely know a lot about snap judgments. Those two things happen to combine perfectly, so here is a list of the five best and worst baseball teams. TL;DR, appearances matter.
#5: Toronto Blue Jays
What can I say? I love Toronto. The people there are lovely. Also, blue jays are pretty cool birds. They communicate through screams. (Me too, blue jays. Me too.)
#4: Baltimore Orioles
This logo just makes me laugh. That bird looks like your weird neighbor named David who sings to his vegetable garden every morning. Protect him with your life.
#3: Sacramento River Cats
I’ve never met a cat who likes rivers, but the concept excites me immensely. Do cats have secret meetings in rivers to plot how to take over the world? Probably.
#2: Albuquerque Isotopes
This is by far one of the best logos. The only reason it didn’t get #1 is because it reminds be of The Big Bang Theory. Get your life together, Albuquerque. Pick a better show for your logo.
#1: Modesto Nuts
#5: Washington Nationals
This is literally the Walgreens logo. You’re not a drugstore, you’re a baseball team.
#4: Tampa Bay Rays
What’s the deal with baseball team logos that are just letters? Not only that, but it’s in Times New Roman, the least exciting of all fonts. Plus, TB stands for tuberculosis. Bad move, Tampa Bay.
#3: Vancouver Canadians
Props to this team for at least having a baseball in their logo so we uncultured swines can tell what sport they play. All of those props are revoked for having such a boring name.
#2: New York Yankees
Sorry, but this logo is just tacky. Never mind, I’m not sorry.
#1: Cleveland Indians
The absolute worst. I’m disappointed and angry with this one, but not surprised. Every morning, I wake up and hope that we, as a country, have gotten past racist sports team logos, and every morning I’m let down. Stay classy, America.