Pisces (Feb 19 – Mar 20): Circular motion will give you an existential crisis. Stay away from revolving doors and conveyor belts unless you want…
Posts published in “Back Page”
The Coolness Spectrum
Cool 🙂 Applying for The Tattler Editorial Board The Community Market National Pig Day Red squirrels Olives Gray Squirrels Olive, Montana February heat wave Daylight…
Each Sign’s Upcoming Autobiography
Aquarius (Jan 20 – Feb 18): You’ll make up half of it, but it’ll be a bestseller. The cover will be an image of you…
Coolness Spectrum February 2024
Cool 🙂 “Creating a distraction-free environment” x7 Opals Being halfway through the school year Galentine’s/Palentine’s day Valentine’s day IHS ghosts College students coming back Wrong…
Your New House Decor, According to Your Star Sign
Aries (Mar 21 – Apr 19): You’ll read a book about how caring for plants can help with stress, and suddenly you’ll have a watering…
December Coolness Spectrum
Cool 🙂 Free Lunch Spotify Wrapped Fuzzy Socks Sleighing Holiday Sweaters Mushy Tomatoes Toe Socks “Melk” 25 Cent Pads Uncool 🙁
How Will Your Sign Stay Warm This Month?
Scorpio (Oct 23 – Nov 21): You think winter clothes are for suckers and instead will choose to wear four or five layered T-shirts. It…
The Coolness Spectrum
Cool 🙂 “Now and Then” Water towers Anacondas Papa’s Freezeria Straws Anything with “crypto” in it Cleaning mouse traps Soggy cereal Ticks Uncool 🙁
Your New Musical Career, According To Your Star Sign
Libra (Sep 23 – Oct 22): You will have an epiphany: no one has attempted another rap musical since Hamilton. No one, that is, until…
In The Interest Of Balance – An Arsonist’s Perspective
Editor’s note: The following article is intended as a joke and should not be interpreted as a legitimate defense of arson. Please do not commit…
Your New Obscure Community, According to Your Star Sign
Aries (Mar 21 – Apr 19): You may have never imagined that the pet food taste-testing community would be for you, but it certainly is.…
The Coolness Spectrum
Cool 🙂 New Teachers and Staff New E-wing School Cookies Apple Juice Bowl Cuts Rugburn Z X Starbucks Uncool 🙁
My Ideas For Conspiracy Theories
Maybe… …the moon landing was real, but the moon takeoff was fake! …the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) is secretly controlled by the…
What You Will Fall Over This Month
Aries (Mar 21 – Apr 19): You will have a dramatic and epic fall this month. Thankfully, your friends caught it on video and now…
The Coolness Spectrum
Cool 🙂 Ms. Lynn The New Tattler Editorial Board Admin duck escort Chinese Giant Salamander Cannoli dp TVs as posters Our School calendar The Smell…
May Events
May 1 May 2 May 3 May 4 May 5 May 8 May 9 May 10
Bad B Boba Tea
Taurus (Apr 20 – May 20): As you’re hiking the Adirondacks one day, a slightly large squirrel will come out of nowhere and land on…
The Coolness Spectrum
Cool 🙂 The Duck is back Classes outside Parrots on zoom Worms Spring potholes Freshmen @ senior prom New G bathrooms IHS parking lot @…
The Coolness Spectrum
Cool 🙂 April Fools Prank April Snow Days Mario Movie March Twilight Saga College Decision Taylor Swift Skipping NY Uncool 🙁
What Sign Secretly Loves (or Hates) You?
Aries (Mar 21 – Apr 19): Remember that one time you lost your cool and lashed out at a classmate in middle school? You bet,…
March Events
Mar. 3 Mar. 8 Mar. 14 Mar. 17 Mar. 19 Mar. 28 Mar. 29 Mar. 30 Mar. 31
March Horoscopes 2023
The Signs as Competitors in a Televised Baking Contest Pisces (Feb 19 – Mar 20): In the penultimate round, you have a vision for the…
The Coolness Spectrum
Cool 🙂 No School on St. Pats Popcorn Shamrock Shakes Cheap Californian Rice Mustard Lost Stuff Emails Vending Machines Rejecting Cards The Monarchy Wet Socks…
February Horoscopes 2023
What would you do ifyou were hit in the facewith a snowball? Aquarius (Jan 20 – Feb 18):You will assume it was thrown bysomeone trying…
The Coolness Spectrum
Summer VacationMidterm SurvivorsChunky YarnDonut FundraisersValentine’s DayInternational Door ShortageRegal ClosingSeeing Your Teacher at the BotanistWarm Water Fountain Water
Meet the Snorks
Name: Matricia Revas Snork Occupation: School Nurse Biography: Matricia is the youngest daughter of Albert. She was born in 1981 and attended Syracuse University for…